


Copper Butterfly

by KaidaStrife



Category: Porter Robinson - Fandom, Shelter the Animation
Genre: Angst, I really love this animation, Mentions of Suicide, Other, Suicide, free form kinda, so I wrote a fic to destroy myself even more, this video destroyed me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 07:57:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8393479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaidaStrife/pseuds/KaidaStrife
Summary: Shigeru only knew one thing; he had to save her.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I'm so sorry that I have not been updating Black Flower; I'm currently in a block that I'm desperately trying to get out of.
> 
> Long story short, I saw the music video for Shelter by Porter Robinson, and felt compelled to write something. This is unbeta'ed, so please tell me if there are any spelling mistakes or errors!
> 
> I will be releasing drabbles throughout my block in hopes to break it, so until then, please enjoy what I can do currently!
> 
> Please watch this fantastic music video [here!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzQ6gRAEoy0)

If God was real, and truly watched over humanity, then he must have hated them, Shigeru decided. Three years have passed since the Mirai Satellite Camera had been launched into space to observe the impeding destruction that would gradually destroy what was left of Earth.

 

Shigeru was not a poet; rather, he was an engineer, a very logical and scientifically oriented man that could not understand the intricate lines that so many linguistic geniuses would recite, adding more and more passion to the sentences they had created. Shigeru appreciated the underlying beauty that poetry was, but he knew he would never be able to follow it.

 

At this moment in time however, watching Rin- his light, his pride, his moon and stars, his beloved, most precious daughter- Shigeru found himself gazing at the way the light of the setting sun caught in her hair, admiring the way her dark hair shone like copper, a colour he had never seen captured so magnificently before.

 

It lasted only a moment before the small two-year-old toddler shrieked, smacking her pudgy hands down loudly on floor, spilling crayons all over the tatami mats. Luckily, Shigeru had the mind to buy the erasable crayons for his rambunctious daughter. If he had not, then the entire floor of the house would look like a rainbow had promptly vomited all over the poor mats.

 

Shigeru let out a wry grin, ruffling Rin’s soft curls, earning himself another shriek as she batted at his hand, gripping his fingers tightly.

 

Shigeru felt his heart clench, painfully so. Rin- his precious, precious daughter, his sun and sky, his home, his reason for living; everything about her was perfect. So perfect that Shigeru knew she deserved so much more than a world hurtling towards oblivion.

 

He started to build the ship less than a month later, images of Rin’s copper locks circling in his mind.

 --------------------- 

Shigeru kept all the drawings Rin made. He hung them up on the fridge, proudly displaying them for all to see. Though, they were the only ones who could.

 

A soft giggle tore his gaze away from the lovely scribbles. Shigeru glanced down, smiling softly as Rin ran to him, wrapping her tiny arms around his legs in a soft hug. She turned her head up, meeting his eyes and grinning widely.

 

“Daddy, I found one!’ she declared, releasing his legs.

 

Shigeru knelt down, reaching out to ruffle her hair. Ever since that day four years ago, her hair had remained unchanged, the copper undertone hidden in strands of chocolate that matched his own.

 

“And what did you find, Rin?’ he asked, ignoring how his throat ached.

 

The ship was almost complete, and the closer he got to finishing it, the more he found it difficult to wear a mask around his daughter.

 

Shigeru estimated he would have the ship completed by the end of the year, just after Rin would turn seven. The thought made his heart skip a beat. He only had a year left. One year left to spend with his daughter. Shigeru knew that he had to save her, and that the only way to do that was to send her away from Earth, away from _him_ , forever. He understood that, but a small part of him, one he never could quite silence, constantly pleaded for him to be selfish; it would beg him to hold her and never let go, to keep her here for all eternity in his arms instead of sending her up into the empty void that no human could survive without help.

 

Shigeru started when Rin tugged on his hands. She had not seemed to notice his change in mood, and was busy dragging him out into the yard.

 

She led him over to a small mound of dirt surrounded by tiny pebbles. Rin approached the marker and pointed down excitedly at it, gesturing to the single green leaf sitting on top of the dirt innocently.

 

Shigeru knelt down once more, his eyes widening slightly. Upon the leaf sat a bright yellow butterfly, it’s wings flickering ever so slightly seemingly in time with each breath he took.

 

“I found one! Do you see it?” Rin whispered beside him excitedly.

 

He nodded, smiling fondly at her.

 

“You did a good job,” he intoned back, his voice low as if to not disturb the delicate insect only a few inches in front of him.

 

Shigeru and Rin sat like that for a few minutes, gazing attentively at the butterfly before it suddenly took off, it’s yellow wings fluttering elegantly in the air as it soared above their heads.

 

Rin laughed, pointing at the sky and at the retreating butterfly. Shigeru felt his smile slide off his face as he continued to watch the small butterfly fly away, into the sky, away from them, away from _him._

 

His eyes burned.

 ----------------------------

The neighbours said nothing, remaining silent as they watched him work day in and out on a small ship hidden in the shed.

 

Shigeru did not mind; he knew that they had already accepted the end, and he had accepted it too. That did not mean that he would just sit back and let the only thing that mattered to him die.

 

For Rin’s seventh birthday, he bought her the largest cake from the only store left open in the small town. Her official birthday present was a soft plush bear he had carefully selected from the best- and only- toy store available.

 

Shigeru watched as his daughter held the bear, squeezing it tightly and admiring the soft fabric. The cake had already been eaten by the two of them, and the leftovers sat in the fridge plastered in colourful pictures depicting magnificent worlds that only Rin could see.

 

Shigeru had been careful to take her imagination into consideration when building what would be Rin’s new and permanent home. He could not say for sure if it would work, and he no longer had any time left to check it.

 

The Mirai Satellite had crashed onto Venus, the data it contained lost forever. It was not like it mattered anymore anyways; the planet had taken over the entire sky, blocking out most of the blue and shattering the clouds.

 

Shigeru knew that he had no time left on Earth, and neither did Rin.

 

Rin had crawled into his bed that night, carrying her bear- which she had lovingly dubbed “Kumako” and Shigeru could legitimately feel the waves of overwhelming cuteness such a splendid name offered- and laid down next to him.

 

Shigeru patted her hair, stroking the soft locks and humming some nondescript song he had heard many years back. It worked effectively as a lullaby, and Rin’s eyes quickly fluttered shut and her small breaths evened out.

 

He stayed like that for a few hours, gazing at his whole world. At exactly three in the morning, Shigeru picked Rin up, cradling her and Kumako in his arms as he carried her out of the house and into the shed.

 

Rin remained still as he removed her pajamas, tucking her into the pod of the ship. Just in case, Shigeru had laced Rin’s nightly cup of milk with a mixture of anesthetic to keep her asleep during the process it would take for him to hook her up to the mainboard of the ship.

 

Watching the cords and plugs pierce her skin made Shigeru sick, but he continued, latching the clasps onto her nerves. The machine only took a few seconds to link up to her consciousness, the lights on the board flickering. The large screens had turned on, showcasing her vitals and measuring her heart rate and blood pressure.

 

So far, so good, but there was only so much machines could tell him.

By the time he was sure that Rin was safely tucked into the pod, effectively connected to the program he had constructed only for her, the sun had started to peek out from what was left of the horizon.

 

Taking a deep breath, Shigeru looked at his beloved, beloved daughter one last time, bending down to kiss the crown of her head gently. When he pulled back, the sun’s light caught on her hair, turning the strands to that beautiful coppery gleam that he had dreamed of for so many nights.

 

Shutting the pod and securing it tightly, Shigeru activated the launch system, stepping back as the ship whirred to life. The engine purred smoothly and the platform served it’s purpose of holding the ship up, pointing it towards the small gap in the sky.

 

Shigeru wanted to look away, but he could not. His daughter was leaving him. His daughter would never come back. She would be safe forever. Alone forever.

 

As he watched the ship he had spent almost six years building, the ship that he had programmed to keep his daughter alive and to enrich her mind properly, Shigeru felt his throat clog out with emotions.

 

Relief. She would be safe.

 

Worry. What if it did not work?

 

Happiness. She, at least, could be saved.

 

Sorrow. He would never se her again.

 

Loneliness. He would be so lonely in his final moments, and she would be alone for the rest of her life.

 

As the ship flared up, releasing blast of immense heat and pressure as it rocketed towards the sky, a poetic thought entered Shigeru’s mind, surprising him.

 

_Nothing is sadder than when the butterfly flies away._

 

Shigeru stayed there, stock still as the ship blasted higher and higher up, leaving his sight far too quickly but not fast enough. Only when the altitude meter he carried ding loudly did he let himself relax. The ship was out of the Earth’s atmosphere, and was continuing its ascent higher.

 

By the time the sun was shining brightly in midday, the ship was gone, and so was Rin.

 

His duty done, Shigeru released a shaky breath, choking back a harsh sob.

 

She was safe now. She would live.

 

Dropping the meter, Shigeru reached into large pocket of his winter coat, retrieving the pistol he had placed in there several days ago. Still staring up at the sky, Shigeru raised the gun, resting the cold barrel against his temple and releasing his mask.

 

Hot tears streaked down his face as he allowed himself to hope and mourn.

 

Shigeru hated himself. He truly did. He just sentenced his irreplaceable daughter to a future full of nothing but solitude. She would forever be alone up there, in the endless abyss of space, and it was all his fault.

 

Was something like this truly saving her?

 

A single gunshot rang out through the area, echoing off the small houses, as the lonely father collapsed.

 

He really was the most despicable human being in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/KurtaDragon?lang=en)   
>  [Tumblr](http://kaidastrife.tumblr.com/)


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